The title of this online dustbin for some random thoughts is actually rather decieving as I don't believe in fate or any other influence apart from living beings on the course of our life...however none of that changes the fact that my own little life has taken an interesting turn.

I'm starting to think differently and i've really got a lot more confidence than ever...feel my old fighting spirit returning which is utterly energizing. I'm seeing a lot of things objectivley rather than through a mist and i'm clear on a lot of stuff that used to bother me. Especially the fact that there is no use dwelling on the pain of the past or reliving how you used to hurt and feel...shit happens and it happens to everyone. There's a few people in this world who i wouldn't piss on fire to put out, in fact it'd give me an odd sense of satisfaction that they'd got their just deserts to watch them burn. But it doesn't matter what happens to them either way, i'm a stronger, more fulfilled and spirited person than any of them. I know that and it isn't arrogance, it's simple fact. You have to remember as a person to look at what you've got and keep on doing your thing no matter who the opposition is - you can't please everyone and why bother trying to please anyone if it's not what you want? I won't do that because I'm in control of me and that feels great. A Trivium lyric and album name comes to mind - from ember to inferno. That's how I see this playing out...something has sparked the fire in me and i'm going to enjoy the new found freedom.

Anyway, I'm driving which is ace. I've finally got a job in a shop at the till which is also fantastic as the extra money will be spent on many things that i've wanted like drumming lessons and some great new clothes to go along with my great new weight loss program! Not that i really need to lose much, just want to improve my fitness and tone up. It's like King Lear says in the play King Lear by Shakespeare....

"O, reason not the need: our basest beggars
Are in the poorest thing superfluous:
Allow not nature more than nature needs,
Man's life's as cheap as beast's"

Which basically comes down to the point that if humans only had things they needed they'd be no more than the animals...which is true i think, it's the choice in deciding that we want something that we don't actually need that makes us different. In the end we only need food, shelter, water, warmth don't we?

The greatest thing going on this week is that i've been given the fantastic gift to meet Trivium!!!!! One of the best bands around at the moment in the metal scene...i'm so excited! Before the show on Friday we get to go and meet them for real man! When I saw we i mean PJ, Rob and I plus some other people I don't know. Cool stuff, cool stuff....I'm also seeing Avenged Sevenfold on Sunday which will be great - not meeting them though loool that'd be greedy!

Okies, well later guys!